Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Six weeks! Life is SO good!

Week one at Curves = Fantastic!  I feel so much better about what I'm doing now to help myself get to my goal!  YAY me!   It seems that the girls at my Curves have learned a lot about how to make the machines work their best magic on me!  I remember the last time I joined Curves I would leave there feeling like I hadn't even worked out.  I remember thinking.. "weird... I'm not even sore" every time!  There was good reason for that.. I wasn't doing any of it right!  But I'm here to tell you.. I'm sore! (Not heinously so though) and when I'm done every day, I feel like I've done something for ME!!  Something fabulous!

I went on a short trip last weekend to see my Grandmas!  I was a little nervous about how it all would play out for me.. seems like in the past my "little trips" always turned into diet sabotage!  I don't know what it is about traveling that makes one want to eat, but it happens for me every time! So, knowing that about myself, coupled with the fact that I would have zero access to a scale for four days (gasp!) I spent a few moments in a state of curiosity about what might happen!  I shouldn't have worried for a moment!  Turns out when you have a lap band you don't really get any hungrier just because you're in a car driving across the sandhills!  And having no scale access was a bonus!  When I got home I had lost 3 pounds (and a few ounces) and that felt pretty amazing.  It seems like I had more than my share of "stuck" episodes while I was gone though, and I'm not really sure why.  Possibly because of the different foods I was eating.. fish, chicken and hamburger (unless they all have lots of sauce or marinade of some sort) all get stuck now since last week.... which brings me to my "fill" story.

So yes, last week the day before I left for my weekend journey I got my first fill.  Okay.. I don't know exactly what I was expecting, but I didn't think there would be any pain.  I"m here to tell you.. (please excuse my brief moment of oncoming sailor speak) THAT SHIT HURT!!  I'm a pretty tough girl with a very high pain tolerance. Self proclaimed of course, but just ask my mom, she'll tell you!  Maybe it was because I wasn't expecting any more pain than a blood draw type stick, I don't know, but it hurt a LOT!  Before she injected into the port she pushed and prodded (I assume to be sure she was going to inject in the right spot, and to be sure the port was where it was supposed to be) and that may have been the worst part.. I had no idea I was still so sore internally from surgery... but how could I have known that since I don't go around pushing on the port site that way?   At any rate, once she found it I felt some relief but the stick hurt too, and then she had to "tapdance" on top of the port for a bit before the needle would go where it was supposed to.  The digging around, the pushing around and the stick itself made for some pretty unpleasant moments for me, but the good news it was all over within ten minutes and I now am the happy owner of 3cc of fluid in my lap band!  Dot told me to come back for one more in two weeks.  That was another surprise.. I didn't expect to go back for a month or so (based on other's stories) but I scheduled my next fill for June 1, and out the door I went, none the worse except for a little emotional scarring from the surprise of the pain you know?!  Hahah!  What a whiner I can be!  I was assured that the next one wouldn't hurt as bad and I chose to believe that...

I've definitely got a little restriction with this fill.  My new and improved slow eating habits need to be newer and a little more improved.  I can only imagine what it will be like after another fill in 2 week... Dot told me that they have found  for "most" of their lap band patients, the *sweet spot* is between 5 1/2 cc to 7 cc.  How awesome would it be to find that sweet spot in 2 fills?  Hey, a girl can hope! 

So, six weeks out I am 30 pounds lighter, and I will be able to give you some inch calculations by the middle of next month when I get re-measured at Curves!  My beach goal was to lose 10 more pounds by June 23rd, and enough inches that I'll be needing a new swim suit! My first 'goal jeans' are still fitting just fine at a size 16, and will hold me over for a few more inches, even if the butt does sag quite a bit by the end of the day.   My son is getting married on August 5th and I'm kind of hoping for a dress that will look adorable and be a few sizes smaller.. again, a girl can hope!   Time will tell...

30 days til beach time!!
Thanks for stopping by! 

Monday, May 16, 2011

Five weeks post op and still in the honeymoon phase!

Tomorrow will be 5 weeks and going strong for me and my lap band!  I honestly don't have one single complaint about my band yet, and can't imagine having gone another day without it!

I have my first fill this coming Wednesday.  I've gotten much advice to ponder about that little milestone, and I'm looking forward to seeing what changes it brings about.  Hopefully nothing too drastic, because the next day I'll be leaving for a few days and won't be close enough to my doctor to run back in for help if it's too tight or something goes wrong.  But I'm not anticipating anything negative, and I'm pretty excited to get "tightened up" as my brother so eloquently puts it!  Seriously!  He asked me when I go in to get tightened up the other day! It made me giggle!

I've made some strides this week in my lifestyle and I'm pretty happy about that.  I re-joined Curves this week.  I needed to have a more pleasurable work out experience, and I have known for a few weeks that this would be my next step.  I love the 30 minute work out there, and the extra personal trainer support that I get.  I haven't decided whether or not to keep my YMCA membership for the pool or not.  I haven't been using it very faithfully, and it's going to be money down the tubes if I don't.  Not sure what I'm waiting for there.. but I need to make a decision soon.

I am down 27 pounds and lots of inches in five weeks time.  I have set a goal for 10 more pounds in the next five weeks which will put me right down to my beach trip.  I'm hoping for more lost inches honestly, and I think that will be achieved regardless of what my stupid scale says.  That scale makes me want to scream sometimes, but when it gives up a pound or two it redeems itself completely.  Poor scale.  I have to wonder sometimes if the verbal assault it gets doesn't make it actually mess with my head!!

I can't wear most of my jeans now.. except for the two pre-prednisone pairs that I saved.  They're going to wear out quick if I don't get some new ones to tide me over!  But I am going to stubbornly refuse to do so for three or four more weeks... a little bit closer to beach time!  I've noticed that as far as inches go my arms are the most stubborn for giving them up.  I see the biggest changes in my stomach and hips.  Also my "girls" are not budging.  Yes, I know some of you would be happy to take them off of my chest... literally!!  And trust me, I'd be completely thrilled to give at least half of them to you!  I wasn't always huge chested.  They came along with the kids, and stuck around all these years.  You'd think I'd be good friends with them by now, but not so much!  If they don't reduce, I will be one funny looking chick when I do find my other butt!!  But that's just my humble opinion I guess.  Time will tell..   Everyone always says the "girls" are the first to go, but it's not true in my case.

I'm still craving steak, and meat in general, and not having many issues with any particular food.  I still fill up quite quickly, and can only eat a fraction of what I used to eat.  I have no problems yet with wanting to graze or eat between meals which I love!  I've learned to make a meal last about 30 minutes which was previously unheard of for me!!  I'm thinking the upcoming fill won't have to be much in order to improve the way the band is currently working, which seems to be beautifully thus far!

My apologies if my straight talk about the girls offends any of you guys who might be reading.. just one of those things I must discuss on this journey!  Let me know if you'd appreciate a warning next time! :)

Thanks for stopping by!

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Four Weeks Post Op!

One month out from surgery today and I feel great!  Seems like enough changes have taken place in the month for it to have been three months lol, but time has certainly flown by.

I weigh 24 pounds less, and in my mind, that's just not a lot considering that the first 17 came off in a matter of days.  I moped about that for a few days, until I realized that my body has been busy shedding inches!  I don't know about you, but I'll take inches over pounds any day.   The photo at the top of this blog represents the volume difference in muscle and fat that are the exact same weight.  It helped me to put it all into perspective! :)

As I said in a previous blog, I've been able to fit into saved pants that were way too small a month ago... and yesterday I got out the last pair of those "too small" jeans that I'd saved as my initial goal clothes and wore them to work! They were the very first pair of expensive jeans I'd bought for myself in my adult life, and I quickly outgrew them as the evil Prednisone piled on the pounds.  The last time I tried them on I couldn't get them all the way UP, so needless to say, I'm a pretty happy camper today!   When I look in the mirror I see much less belly than I did even a few days ago... not so much less butt, but I'm pretty excited to see less of anything.  Size wise, the jeans I wore at surgery time were a 22.  The pair I wore to work yesterday are 18!  BIG HUGE SMILE! :)

I've experienced several "stuck" episodes with both tortillas and meat.  I realized very quickly that this was due to eating that first bite too fast, and too big.  I'm getting much better at eating slowly, and taken twice the time to eat than anyone I've eaten with in the past week.  I crave protein.  More specifically, I crave steak.  This isn't a bad thing to crave I guess.. could get a little expensive though.  I haven't drank a carbonated beverage since 2 days before my surgery.  I can't say that I don't crave that Pepsi anymore, because at times I'd still love to feel that burn, but the feeling passes quickly, and I really don't struggle with being tempted to give in to it.  It's more a fleeting thought, and it feels great not to have to fight off now that I think about it.  I drink a lot of unsweetened ice tea and water. 

I'm officially an exercise hater.  If I ever get to the point where I can't WAIT to go to the gym I may just die of shock.   I know, that if I can get a handle on my eating, I can certainly get a handle on exercise, and I have faith that it will happen.... one of these days.  I am the queen of coming up with excuses.  Perhaps I need an eliptical trainer or treadmill next to my bed...   I do feel a little more motivated lately at the recent loss of inches, but I haven't noticed myself rushing off to the gym yet today! 

All in all it's been a really awesome month for me.  I'm shrinking!!  My other butt is getting closer, oh yeah, I can feel it!

Friday, May 6, 2011

Fabulous Friday!

I'm only writing today about a 'Non Scale Victory" that needs shared!  It was such a fabulous way to begin my Friday, and I've been excited about it all dang day!

I got up, showered and was scrounging around for something to wear... sounds like a normal day for me for sure.  It was supposed to be really nice weather today, and I definitely wanted to wear capri jeans.  I have a few pairs that fit fine.  I also have a drawer that has a few pairs that haven't fit for three years.    I decided to torture myself just a little by pulling out my favorite pair of too small capris just so I could see how close I'm getting to wearing them.  I needed some motivation.  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath, pulled them on... wait.... they went on.... all the way on... WOOT!  I opened one eye and looked at myself in the mirror.. HOT DAMN!  Okay.. they went on without any kind of struggle, but I was pretty sure they wouldn't button and zip.  Much to my great joy, they buttoned, zipped, and when I finally let my breath out (I didn't realize I was still holding it until I let it go hehehe) they fit! THEY FIT!! 

I bought those adorable Hydraulic capris three years ago right after I first got sick.  Two weeks later I started taking prednisone and gained 60 pounds in 2 months time and they haven't fit since.  I was very sad.. I love them, which is why I've kept them around all this time I guess.  They sure are cute! And they looked great today if I do say so myself!  I took those pants out the night before my surgery and decided that they were going to be my first goal.  I wanted to be able to wear them when I went to the beach in June.  I am absolutely overjoyed that they fit already!  I can tell you with utmost certainty (even though I haven't weighed myself in several days) that I haven't lost those 60 prednisone pounds.. not even close.  I haven't even lost 30 pounds yet, I know it.  But I've lost a lot of inches somehow... and I almost needed to breathe into a paperbag this morning due to hyperventilation/over-excitement!! 

Anyhoo, I had to share.  I'm motivated~~ oh so motivated!  Thank you for jumping for joy for me, because I know you are (mentally, right?) hehe! 

Just writing about it tonight I'm all giddy again!  GO ME!

Thanks for stopping by! 

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

Getting the hang of this!

I'm three weeks post-op today, and I think I'm getting the hang of it.. slowly, but surely! 
I can say with utmost certainty today that I love my lap band. 

At three weeks out I am down just a smidge over 22 pounds as of two days ago.   The biggest bulk of that came off in the first week, so the rest has very slowly melted away.  But today, when I look in the mirror, I can see changes!  I thought it would take longer for that.  I've also been hearing lots of comments from people who have noticed little things as well.  Oh yes, I still have a long way to go to get to my other butt.. however, seeing small changes, and noticing a difference in my clothes is very motivational for me! 

I've had some issues with food that have been purely psychological.  For instance, when ordering food at a restaurant I still want to order a lot.  My eyes are definitely still way bigger than my stomach.  So this past week I've been working on that, and it feels good to get a grip on it.  Today my mom and I shared a sandwich, and I could only eat half of my half.  I'm learning that a huge part of my battle previously was mental.    I have issues with needing to drink when I eat.. something I've been warned against.. but I just can't shake the desire to do it.  It's what I'll probably be working on for quite awhile.  I think before, I felt that if I washed the food down I could eat more.  And truthfully that's probably what still drives my desire to drink at my meals, although the other thing I used to do is drink soda with my meals and that honestly DID produce the belches that always made a little more room for more food!  I don't drink soda anymore, so it's a little different.  I'm fully understanding how necessary it is to be psychologically sound before attempting to change your lifestyle the way mine has changed.  So much of obesity is psychological, and I was never willing to look at it that way before. 

I did get a lot of walking exercise this week, but not as much as I should have.  I sucked at exercise this week actually.  The gas pains are gone for the most part now.. and I really don't have a good excuse other than I'm tired.  The weather promises to provide some excellent walking conditions through the rest of the week and into the weekend though, so I have big plans to do it!  I NEED to swim.  Tomorrow morning my plan is to swim for 45 minutes before work. 

My doctor told me that my port site would hurt when I was losing weight.  He said its because the port is in the muscle, and as that changes due to weight loss (or something probably a little more scientific but that's close) it would hurt.  So now, whenever the port hurts (because it isn't every day) I get a big grin on my face and think to myself that I am losing.. and the scale seems to concur!  That's just a little tidbit for those of you reading this who may have the same issue from time to time.  Instead of saying "Crap that hurts!" I say "Hot damn I'm losing weight!"  hehe. 

I haven't weighed in two days.. I'm getting much better at waiting, and finding that it's much less disappointing when I don't step on that damn scale every single morning.  Again.. a psychological thing.  I will try to make it til Friday.. not promising anything!  Until then.. I'm off in search of my other butt, and I know I'm getting closer!!  Thanks for stopping by!